The primary commitment in any marriage is a commitment to the growth of the soul in myself and in my partner which, in my ideal marriage, are closer to being as one – closer to recognizing our oneness – than in any other relationship in my life.
And growth starts with disclosing who we are. My sacred obligation is to take off all my masks and tell you who I am. Yours is to tell me who you are. We can’t drag it out of each other – at least not without producing misunderstandings and resentments.
We must also understand that we are, both of us, dynamic works-in-progress who have changed over the years. Perhaps we have an inner core, so to speak, that hasn’t changed much but most of the rest of us does. We can each be whoever we want to be.
To be known by another person is a joy.
Desiderata – by Max Ehrmann
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.
Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
“There are no monsters anymore, we have to create them.” (From a recent TV commercial.)
That’s all we’ve ever done is to create them. All of us. Every day. They’ve never actually existed, except in our minds.
The implications of this idea can be staggering.